


no ending (you're my heartbeat)

by hubblestars



Category: Ackley Bridge (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, First Kiss, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hubblestars/pseuds/hubblestars
Summary: After the accident, Nas finally confesses.





	no ending (you're my heartbeat)

Nasreen’s can feel the gravel underneath her back, hard under the soft weight of her coat; blood seeps a little from her leg, from wounds she can’t see but can feel stinging slightly on her skin and staining her clothes. The sky looks down on her, watching, waiting, the clouds drifting a little and moving on, and Nas has to turn her head away from it to look at Missy lying on the road beside her.

Missy smiles, a little, her cheeks rising as she shows her teeth, and Nas looks back at her in faint disbelief. There’s hope and a little amusement reflected in her gaze, as if to say _look at us, eh?_ , and Nas loves her so much that she feels winded the same way that she did when the car hit her, straight into her chest.

Lying here reminds her of drunken nights in the dark, of secrets told between Nas’ sheets, whispering and giggling as they looked up at the ceiling. Nas holds onto this memory (Missy’s arm around her as they sleep, warm and tight) through the ambulance and through her hazy vision, holds onto the feeling of comfort and safety in the bustle of the ambulance as it drives through the streets she knows by heart.

When Nas finally slips out of consciousness, somewhere between Kaneez screaming and the hands around her face and the ambulance journey and the hospital, the image behind her eyes is Missy in Oxford, leaning on the side of old brick, smiling and at ease; the vision she keeps with her when everything goes black is Missy’s hair curling around her face, soft and pretty, long enough for Nas tuck behind her ear.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Hours later, the hospital room drifts into focus; a dull beeping reaches Nas and pulls her out of an uneasy sleep, and she groans at the sharp pain in her head, and in her leg, and behind her eyes. The room is white and too bright and everything feels painful and new, but she can move and she can breathe and maybe that’s all that matters right now. Being alive.

When Nas wakes, she doesn’t think of the smell of bleach in the room, or the hospital clothes she’s wearing, or the way that another girl in the room is staring at her. No, her first thought is of Missy, lying in the dirt, injured, smiling, surrounded by the houses they grew up with. Nas can’t spot her in the ward, and worry blooms in her chest, strong and tight.

Kaneez is sleeping soundly in a chair by Nas’ bedside, her mouth slightly open; Nas looks down at her fondly for a moment, smiling at the way Kaneez snuffles and murmurs in her sleep, and then she slips from the bed silently.

There’s crutches by the door, so Nas doesn’t have to stand on the leg that bursts with pain every time she moves it. The corridors are long and Nas loses track of which rooms she’s checked, which wards are which, until she’s opening a door and she spots Missy on the bed.

Even with her eyes closed, with small traces of blood by her mouth, Missy is still beautiful. Her hair has been let out of it’s tie, and it falls around her face as she lies still. Ever since they were young, Nas has looked at Missy, in the dark of clubs or in the glow of summer or in the daylight of classrooms, and she always makes something inside of Nas’ chest tug and twist and burn. There’s something too soft and pretty about her face - something that shines in her eyes, always bright and strong and determined, a fire sparking when she rambles and shouts.

Nas sits herself by the bed in a chair. She presses her hand over Missy’s, intertwines their fingers, and the sensation is so familiar that it even makes the bright lights and underlying buzz of conversation in the hospital slip away. Warm palms and soft fingers feel oddly like home.

“ _Missy.”_ Nas says, and her voice cracks. She sounds like she’s pleading, begging for Missy’s eyes to flicker open. “Wake up, you idiot.”

Missy’s chest rises and falls in her sleep. Nas thinks that she must be on a different ward for a reason, and panic hits her sharply; she forgets everything she knows about medicine.

“Please. You’ve got to wake up.” Nas feels her eyes burn, and she tries to blink the tears away, “We’ve got so much left to do.”

A nurse is eyeing Nas warily by the door, but Nas ignores her.

“I-I’m going to Oxford, and you’re going to the fair, and you’re going to- you’re going to snap your stupid nails on the candy floss machine. Alright? Wake up.”

Missy lies still, and Nas can feel frustration and anxiousness and love inside of her, against her ribs.

“There’s still something I need to tell you, I never got to- I never got the chance-”

All her life, Nas had kept it under her skin, the soft thrum of something more than love. It made everything ache when Missy spent less nights with her because she was with a boy. If she’d wanted to kiss Missy when they danced to old songs during karaoke, or when they’d sit close in the common room and complained about homework, or when they’d stumble home together in the dark, then Nas had kept it silent.

But now, looking at Missy, who’s drifting away from her, Nas can’t keep her mouth shut like she has since she was young.

“Missy. I have to tell you that I- _I love you._ ” Nas laughs bitterly, her face a little wet now. “I know we say that all the time, but I mean it like- like I- we’re the other half of each other, you know? And I know I always said that it would never happen, but I was just _hiding_ behind the jokes because-”

Nas pauses and the words slip out of her throat in a croaked whisper.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

She’s never said it out loud, not even to herself, but now that she has Nas feels the crushing weight of silence and friendship lift from her shoulders. Looking at Missy, their hands tightly held, Nas thinks it’s always been true - and thinks she could be in love with Missy forever.

Then, slowly, a grin breaks out on Missy’s face. Her cheeks rise, she shows her teeth, and she sits up easily. Her face is tinged pink.

“You-you were pretending to be asleep!” Nas hisses, half irritated and half terrified.

“You little rascal!” Missy bursts out. Nas grimaces and looks around the room, were patients are glaring at them pointedly. “I knew it! As soon as you told me you were a lesbian, I _knew_ you were gay for me.”

“It doesn’t change anything, o-our friendship, or the future, or-”

“Oh, would you shut up?” Missy is laughing, elated, the pain and the car accident forgotten. “I can’t _believe_ this. Nas, look at me.”

Nas continues speaking, feeling hot and embarrassed, pulling at her hospital clothes and not meeting Missy’s eyes.

“I’ll get over it, I’m with Sam, I can-”

“Nasreen! God, would you just look at me?” Missy lifts Nas’ chin with her free hand, and all Nas can see is warmth in her raised eyebrows and her grin, “Do I look like I’m mad? Do I _look_ like I’m gonna run away screaming?”

Nas pauses, her heart in her throat.

“What do I look like?” Missy asks, quieter.

Nas melts when Missy’s eyes drift to her mouth. The moment feels too precious - Missy’s hand on her chin, the other holding Nas’, Missy’s eyes stuck on the curves of Nas’ lips.

“Like you want me to-” Nas tries to breathe. “Kiss you.”

“Well then?” Missy’s grin widens. “I haven’t got all day, you know.”

“But you’re _straight,_ and you’ve never-”

“Oh, please, can’t a person be bisexual these days? You know, we really could’ve solved this _years_ ago if you didn’t have that stick up your ass, I _really_ think that-”

Nas pushes forward through the space between them and captures Missy’s words with her mouth. The kiss is soft and quiet and the whole world drifts away, and Nas knows this is where she wants to stay, pressed against her best friend. Missy’s hands wrap around her cheeks to tug her closer, and Nas smiles against her mouth.

When Missy pulls back, her cheeks pink, her eyes glittering, Nas finally gets to tuck her hair behind her ears.

“Nas,” Missy says,  “I love you too.”


End file.
